I started this past Sunday Thanking MTX rather than cursing it. Each week I would struggle with taking my injection. I would talk myself out of taking it at least a hundred times before I would break down and jab it into my thigh. Why would something that is supposed to make me feel better be so dam hard to take? Well ... short answer.. The side effects. MTX stole a day a week out of my life . I would sleep and feel like I had a bad case of the 24 hour flu every time. Its an oxymoron...isn't it? Its good for you, but it makes you so sick you don't want to take it. I would come up with every excuse in the book. I am to tired, I am to busy, I don't feel well, I just don't want to..were the most common ones.
It occurred to me that I am incredibly lucky to have access to this medication. I have great medical insurance. I have a great pharmacy. I have the money to pay for it. I was being incredibly irresponsible and selfish. I am ready to buck up! I am ready to live up to and take advantage of the gifts that have been sitting in front of me from the first day I was diagnosed. I am tired of feeling sorry for myself. I can look at the day I am sick.. as a small investment in my future life ahead. I choose to invest in myself. I also know that I will have my weak moments. I won't feel guilty for hating MTX, but I will choose to acknowledge my hatred and let it go...and choose my health instead.
It is possible to Thank the very things that try and bring you down. You need to choose to invest in your own future. Taking this medication is part of a long term investment in the Piscopo Corporation. The stock is long term and will stay steady even in a long term health down turn. I am going to keep forging ahead and taking full advantage of this old wise drug. I will learn to live with it and learn from its wisdom. I can learn to appreciate MTX. We might even become great friends some day... Who knows..
Will you choose to Thank MTX and invest in your own corporation?
You are always loved by me.
It occurred to me that I am incredibly lucky to have access to this medication. I have great medical insurance. I have a great pharmacy. I have the money to pay for it. I was being incredibly irresponsible and selfish. I am ready to buck up! I am ready to live up to and take advantage of the gifts that have been sitting in front of me from the first day I was diagnosed. I am tired of feeling sorry for myself. I can look at the day I am sick.. as a small investment in my future life ahead. I choose to invest in myself. I also know that I will have my weak moments. I won't feel guilty for hating MTX, but I will choose to acknowledge my hatred and let it go...and choose my health instead.
It is possible to Thank the very things that try and bring you down. You need to choose to invest in your own future. Taking this medication is part of a long term investment in the Piscopo Corporation. The stock is long term and will stay steady even in a long term health down turn. I am going to keep forging ahead and taking full advantage of this old wise drug. I will learn to live with it and learn from its wisdom. I can learn to appreciate MTX. We might even become great friends some day... Who knows..
Will you choose to Thank MTX and invest in your own corporation?
You are always loved by me.
Good for you Peggy! I have found that I can dodge the 'MTX-666' truck by over-doing water and other hydrators on the day of, the day before and the day after my shot. Robitussin every 4 hours is also a big help. I hope that you can find your 'MTX helper' soon and avoid giving it an entire day of your life in the months and weeks to come.
ReplyDeleteYou are always loved by me, too :o)
Thank you MTX, thank you Peggy.
ReplyDeleteI too am a fellow MTX curser, but it is better with it then without it. Great blog! by Janet via Facebook.
ReplyDeleteTrue..I kinda cried reading it. Thanks for putting things into perspective!
ReplyDeleteHello, I was just taken off of mtx because of liver problems.... now I have a daily arava, so far it is like taking nothing at all, just some tummy trouble but also no help with the raging flare, so yes, mtx is a mixed blessing, and thank you and sending you big hugs and you are always loved by me too!!!
ReplyDeleteFatigue may be present before your joint symptoms begin, and morning stiffness is a sensitive indicator of rheumatoid arthritis. An increase in fluid in and around your joint probably causes the stiffness. Your joints are warm, but your skin is rarely red. Make sure to learn the symptoms of arthritis to know how to battle RA pains.
ReplyDelete